TWISTED METAL (2012) REVIEW

TWISTED METAL

Dev/Pub: EatSleepPlay, SCEA

Released: Feb 14 2012

Genre: Car Combat

Platforms: PS3

Ah, Twisted Metal. A video game dynasty that has seen more ups and downs than Wall Street. The series has given us amazing games like the original 1995 release, but has also churned out a few forgettable turds as well (numero tres anyone?). Upon hearing rumor of a reboot I, along with almost every other 20 something gamer, was thrilled. Car combat seems to have been extinct in the past 5 years or so. So have we been granted a title worthy of bearing the TM name, or have the gaming gods raped our childhood memories like Michael Bay?

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Thats for Transformers 2 dick!

Right off the bat, you'll notice a few differences. The biggest (and most disappointing) being a lack of characters. The TM franchise has always been defined by its' eclectic mix of psychopaths. It seems the days of playing a dozen characters (even the shitty ones) are long gone. In this installment, the focus is on only three individuals. While at first I was pissed to discover only Sweet Tooth, Dollface, and Mr Grimm were the sole playable characters, it eventually became acceptable. Only focusing on three of the series heavy hitters seems to result in a much more coherent and focused story for each. Each story is revealed in surprisingly well done live action videos. For the most part, the clips avoid being cheesy and are sometimes downright scary. The creative minds at EatSleepPlay saved what could have been a huge slap in the face of fans into a forgivable annoyance.

Visually, the game is pretty damn solid. Most of the levels catch that classic TM feel. Vehicles and weapon effects aren't anything revolutionary but still look great overall. Most maps are well designed and have some really cool details. From what I can hear over the sound of engines and explosions, the soundtrack is good. I don't care who you are, blowing shit up while "Straight Outta Compton" plays is what our Founding Fathers intended American life to be.

The story mode offers some really fun (and at times difficult) challenges. This time around, characters are not bound to one vehicle. Seeing Sweet Tooth driving Crimson Fury or Dollface on Mr. Grimm's Reaper motorcycle is a little odd at first, but eventually you don't even pay attention. Hell, theres even a helicopter in the mix now. I can't play for shit with it, but its still a nice notion. It is very easy to get absorbed in the action. I think the combat itself hits all the right spots. The controls take a little getting used to, but after the first few matches you'll be set.

Yep

Now, getting to my personal favorite part; The multiplayer! This is strange coming from me because I am not much for online gaming. In fact, every time I play any game online, I pray for a disease that selectively kills spoiled 12 year olds and drunken frat bros.The downside of more people playing games than ever before is...well...most people are fucking stupid. There really needs to be a mandatory IQ test for people to buy headsets. But I digress. The multiplayer in this game is simply awesome. Be warned, you will get your ass handed to you quite a bit at first. This game requires a mix of reflexes and clever strategy. Most engagements can be described as dogfights on wheels. You aren't going to take anyone down with a shot or two. In TM deathmatches, outwitting and wearing down your opponent is the name of the game. At first it may feel as though every player but you is an immortal badass. This is false. Any advantage in this game can be mitigated with the right know-how.Using the right combination of skill and quick thinking, a guy on a motorcycle can take a chopper right out of the sky. The learning curve can be a bit steep, but the payoff of hearing a grown man's voice crack from pure butthurt is rich indeed.

In conclusion, Twisted Metal is a great investment for those wanting something relatively different. The game isn't perfect, but is still one of the best releases in recent memory. If you've never experienced a vehicular combat game, punch yourself in the face and then go buy this. TM is definitely firing on all cylinders.

BY THE NUMBERS

Sound/Visuals: Nothing mind-blowing here, but still looks good. Atmosphere is great on most maps. No complaints in the audio department. 8/10

Gameplay: Good challenge on higher difficulties. Multiplayer is a freakin' blast. Some may take a while to start winning matches, but the payoff for honing your skills is worth every "FUCK!" screamed after being vaporized by someone half your age. Eventually you'll make the little bastards cry if you stick with it. 9/10

Controls: Not sure if its just me, but the controls felt a little off  at first. The button layout is NOT made for twitch shooting. Treat this game like COD on wheels, and you'll only wind up dead. Controls are responsive and not too hard to use effectively after a while. 7/10

Plot: Twisted Metal is a truly spiritual allegory about our quest for love and salvation from the Lord Jesus. Not really though. The few story mode plots are more than adequate. No epic tales of redemption or dragonslaying here. Just three fucked-in-the-head psychos looking out for themselves. Anyone who expects this game to be Mass Effect is beyond hope. This game is all about speed and 'splosions (just like your local meth lab). 8/10

Replay Factor: This game is addictive to put it mildly. Its one of those games you sit down intending to play a match or two and, before you know it, 3 hours has passed. I predict this disc will spend plenty more time in my PS3. 9/10

TOTAL SCORE: 41/50

SERIOUS PEPE SAYS: Why are you still reading this bro? Go buy that shit now. Oh, and subscribe too.



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INTRODUCTION AND KICKOFF REVIEW

Here goes nothing. After months of procrastination, I've finally decided to create a blog like 99.9% of the human race. My main focus is going to be on all things gaming (of both the electronic and tabletop variety). I'll probably end up tossing in a few posts here and there regarding other aspects of our weird and wonderful culture. Please be aware of the fact that I may come off as a dick at times, but I believe in open discussion. If you feel you have to say something contradictory, please feel free. I firmly believe discourse, when done in a respectful manner, can lead to growth of knowledge and perspective. I am always willing to receive constructive criticism as well. My writing can be a bit stream-of-conciousness at times. All I ask is that any comments be put forth in a civil and intelligent manner. I will be rating games So without further ado, I present an explanation of my rating criteria and my first review on id Software's recent release RAGE. Please see my rating system in the sidebar. Hope you all enjoy!

RAGE

Dev/Pub: id Software, Bethesda Softworks

Released: October 4, 2011

Genre: FPS

Platforms: PS3, XBOX 360, Windows

For those of us whose early childhood memories are filled with mowing down demons on Phobos, id Software needs no introduction. John Carmack and company pioneered a genre (and level of brutality) never before seen. In doing so, they opened Pandora's Box for both good and ill but that is a discussion for another time. DOOM spawned a whole new concept of what games could do. One could go on and on for hours about the saga of id, but its best to just buy the book (Masters of Doom; a great read).

Fast-forward almost 20 years and we have the company's latest effort RAGE. At first glance, it looked to be an amazing post apocalypse open world shooter. Many of the screens shown in various publications were stunning. The question on most minds prior to release was "Will the amazing legacy of id carry over into today's industry?". Before we answer this question, lets look at the big picture.

First and foremost, this game is a sci-fi shooter in all respects. This has probably been said a million times, but imagine a more vivid and less decayed Fallout setting. If you're looking for a multiplayer-centric military shooter, this is not it. One of the other core components of this game is vehicular action. There is a focus on racing and to a lesser extent, car combat. All of these concepts sound like just what the doctor ordered in an industry currently plagued with a new COD clone on a weekly basis. On paper, this game is a brave new world of awesome. How does the finished product do during go-time though?

Mutant Bash TV. One of the more entertaining parts of the game

Unfortunately, RAGE proved to be something of a disappointment. Keep in mind that disappointment alone does not a bad game make. RAGE is by no means a "bad" game, but on the other hand it could have been so much more. One of the first things I noticed are the textures. I'm not one to bitch about graphics very often. We all love having our eyes blown out of our skull by incredible details and lighting, but there is much more to a game in my opinion. The character models are done quite well for the most part. On further examination though, pop-in and grainy textures are around every corner. Some of the finer details on items look a bit last gen. It doesn't really hinder the actual gameplay in any fashion, but its never a good feeling playing something when you know that the creators cut corners.

I remember looking forward to a new open world shooter a-la FarCry 2. I was let down to say the least by RAGE's vision of open world. While you do get to roam at your leisure, there really aren't many reasons to. The game gives you the illusion of a sandbox, all the while prodding you along a linear path and hoping you won't notice. There are very few locations of interest and the expanses of land between them are as empty as a Kardashian's wedding vows. They had a chance to make this game huge. However, they settled for an average corrider turkey shoot with a couple of (poorly executed) races. The equipment system is a bit clunky and limiting. Weapons in the wasteland aren't much to write home about either. The narrative is dry, trite, and ends on a disappointing note. There is absolutely nothing to make you pop the disc in again after you're done. I'm very big on these sort of things. If I'm going to drop $60 one a game, I want to get a lot out of it. I could drop that money on a billion things more fulfilling than the story of this game. All in all, this game's flaws seem to boil down to a lack of both innovation and replay factor, little creativity, and just lack of bang for your buck.

There are a number of things that this game does have going for it however. The guns are the same old pistol, shotgun, rifle, etc. combo for the most part. Combat is brutal and quite enjoyable. Some enemies are agile as all hell (therefore a bit difficult to hit) and give the game a sense of urgency and tension. Weapons give a good sense of impact on their targets for the most part. I found the racing elements of the game a bit unpolished and unrewarding but I do give them credit for at least trying something different. This game really isn't bad for a quick weekend rental, but I just can't justify dropping $60 on it. After playing through this title I was glad that I spent around $10 on it. If I would have bought it at retail, I'd need surgery for removing my own foot from my ass. With a bit more time and thought, this could be a classic. Sadly, id has created little more than a gaming footnote. But hey, at least John Carmack still has some creative output. The same can't be said for John "Daikatana" Romero.



Even mutants know Daikatana was shit



BY THE NUMBERS

VISUALS/SOUND: Some sharp looking character models and landscapes are great. Pop-in and smudgy textures however make the game feel like it was half assed. BGM creates a pretty decent atmosphere with some dynamic shifts during action-heavy scenes. Voice acting is average at best. Some characters seem to be hard to hear at times.  6/10

GAMEPLAY: Combat is vicious, bloody, and satisfying most of the time. Weapons inflict some awesome and at times hilarious damage. It hits all the right spots as an FPS. Sadly, RAGE does not live up to the expectations of those wanting an open world experience. As stated above, the game tries to create an illusion of freedom while ushering you along to the next plot point. Racing missions feel pointless and unpolished. The whole game just feels so damn generic. 7/10

CONTROLS: What can I say? They work. Reaction times are a bit slow at times and switching weapons is a pain in the ass during combat, but overall nothing too out of the ordinary. 8/10

PLOT: A dreadfully recycled and unoriginal plot. Asteroid hits Earth, millions die, fastforward to a violent and desolate future, so on and so forth. You've read this novel, seen this movie, or played this game at least half a dozen times in your life. No real character development or depth to be found. The last half hour and abrupt ending of this game are, to put it blunty, complete and utter ostrich shit. Seldom have I ever been as disappointed by a story arc. 3/10

REPLAY FACTOR: The reasons for a second play thru are nil. The game offers no sort of reward for completion. There is no "go back thru again with all your upgrades" mode here. I even attempted a second play thru and sold the game 20 minutes later. I would rather be locked in a racquetball court with Metallica and Lou Reed's LULU on a constant loop. Once the credits roll, you'll already feel as if you've invested too much time for too little reward. 2/10

OVERALL SCORE: 26/50

PEPE THE WONDER CAT SAYS: You want me to come and play RAGE with you? No thanks. I'd rather watch our crackhead neighbors fight.

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